“I
won’t be home much today,” my husband said, “I have that event tonight.” Our two small children were in the living room, while I was loading the dishwasher with the breakfast dishes. Outwardly, I mumbled “okay” and gave him a goodbye kiss. Inwardly, I was spiraling. How many hours until he was home? Could I make it until then with no reassurance from him? Please don’t leave me here all day with the kids! I’m not strong enough!
The panic and anxiety I felt was new, but I had determined it was my new normal. Shortly after we brought our second baby home from the hospital, it had always been close. Whispering to me that I wasn’t cut out to be a mom of two. Sending my thoughts spiraling down paths they had never taken before. Causing me to lay awake at night when I was very exhausted from lack of sleeping well. For some reason, every other woman seemed to ease into having a second baby so gracefully. But me? Failing. Miserably.
Anxiety and panic should not have been my new normal. In fact, it wasn’t normal at all. I was suffering from postpartum depression. Things are so cloudy looking back just a mere year or so ago. I knew I was different, that I was not well, but I couldn’t bring myself to seek help.
Sweet momma, there is hope for you, just as there was hope for me. In that season, while my Bible went unopened and my prayers were silent, the Lord knew my struggles. He saw me. He heard me, even though words did not come out audibly.
Romans 8:26 says that when “we do not know what to pray for as we should, the Spirit himself intercedes for us with unspoken groanings.” While in survival mode, confused and clouded, the Holy Spirit himself was interceding on my behalf. My foggy brain could not find words to lift to Him, but the Holy Spirit “searched my heart” (Romans 8:27) and spoke to the Lord for me. Sometimes, things are so messy and we are so broken, that we have no words. Take heart, the Holy Spirit is speaking for you!
Another place we can find gospel-hope is in Jeremiah 17:9, we are reminded that our “heart is deceitful above all things.” This doesn’t mean our feelings have no value. It simply means that sometimes (okay a lot of times), we need to be reminded that our feelings can waver. That they are temporary. Just ask any recent postpartum mom - she can laugh, cry, weep and get angry all within 30 seconds. The hormones and lack of sleep can really wreck you. It’s important to be able to notice when feelings begin to take over, when you can no longer determine what is true and what is not. The thoughts swirling in my head were not true, even though I believed them.
When my daughter was about 6 months old, we moved. The weeks building up to the move were very difficult for me, plain and simple. My husband was distracted by getting ready for his new position. He was gone the few weeks before the move, one week spent at camp with youth and the next week already at his new job, while I stayed back to pack everything up. Once we moved, life slowed down immensely. We knew no one in our new town. We spent all our time together as a family. The baby started sleeping better (all the praise hands!) and something shifted. One day, I realized I was feeling better. And that day, when there was hope of a better me, was when I realized how much I had been suffering in silence.
Galatians 6:2 calls us to “bear one another’s burdens.” Even when it’s embarrassing. Even when we aren’t even sure what the burden is. Ladies, find someone you trust - someone you know will point you straight to the throne room of God - and lay it on them. I believe bearing one another’s burdens could also be used in seeking counseling. There is no shame in seeking help. Even if you aren’t sure what kind of help you need. Far too many women (including myself) have been silent when facing the pressure, anxiety and fear of postpartum depression.
It takes a village to raise kids, they say. I also believe it takes a village to help the parents transition into life with a new baby (whether that is baby #1 or baby #10). The only way we can find the community that will help us with the gospel in focus, is through our local church. The local church is where it’s at, friends. The local church is what will pick you up when you are down. Or bring you meals when the baby is crying and the toddler is throwing a fit and your husband is working late. Better yet, they may take the toddler for some play time while you get to nap when the baby naps! (Mommas of one baby, enjoy that while you can!) The local church will also celebrate with you. Baby slept through the night? Let’s celebrate with coffee and dessert! Hebrews 10:24-25 calls us to “meet together…encouraging one another.” Online communities are good and well, but they are not to replace face-to-face community. Find a church that places the gospel first and loves the people both in and out of their church well. Immerse yourself in that holy place. Allow yourself to be served and give of yourself by serving.
There is hope for a momma who is struggling postpartum. First, know the Holy Spirit is interceding for you, even if you don’t have the words to pray. God hears you, He sees you. Consider all the feels you have going on, can you determine what is true and what is not? If not, then seek help. Allow someone the pleasure (and it truly is a pleasure) of bearing your burdens, whether that is a trusted friend or a Christian counselor (or better yet, both!). Do not neglect to reach out to the local church. We are called to spur one another one and encourage each other.
Sweet friends, finally, know you are not alone. Do not allow the idea that no one else could understand or has ever felt this way to creep in. Many of us suffered in silence, don’t do that. Reach out for help and let those around you hold you up until you can again stand on your own.
won’t be home much today,” my husband said, “I have that event tonight.” Our two small children were in the living room, while I was loading the dishwasher with the breakfast dishes. Outwardly, I mumbled “okay” and gave him a goodbye kiss. Inwardly, I was spiraling. How many hours until he was home? Could I make it until then with no reassurance from him? Please don’t leave me here all day with the kids! I’m not strong enough!
The panic and anxiety I felt was new, but I had determined it was my new normal. Shortly after we brought our second baby home from the hospital, it had always been close. Whispering to me that I wasn’t cut out to be a mom of two. Sending my thoughts spiraling down paths they had never taken before. Causing me to lay awake at night when I was very exhausted from lack of sleeping well. For some reason, every other woman seemed to ease into having a second baby so gracefully. But me? Failing. Miserably.
Anxiety and panic should not have been my new normal. In fact, it wasn’t normal at all. I was suffering from postpartum depression. Things are so cloudy looking back just a mere year or so ago. I knew I was different, that I was not well, but I couldn’t bring myself to seek help.
Sweet momma, there is hope for you, just as there was hope for me. In that season, while my Bible went unopened and my prayers were silent, the Lord knew my struggles. He saw me. He heard me, even though words did not come out audibly.
Romans 8:26 says that when “we do not know what to pray for as we should, the Spirit himself intercedes for us with unspoken groanings.” While in survival mode, confused and clouded, the Holy Spirit himself was interceding on my behalf. My foggy brain could not find words to lift to Him, but the Holy Spirit “searched my heart” (Romans 8:27) and spoke to the Lord for me. Sometimes, things are so messy and we are so broken, that we have no words. Take heart, the Holy Spirit is speaking for you!
Another place we can find gospel-hope is in Jeremiah 17:9, we are reminded that our “heart is deceitful above all things.” This doesn’t mean our feelings have no value. It simply means that sometimes (okay a lot of times), we need to be reminded that our feelings can waver. That they are temporary. Just ask any recent postpartum mom - she can laugh, cry, weep and get angry all within 30 seconds. The hormones and lack of sleep can really wreck you. It’s important to be able to notice when feelings begin to take over, when you can no longer determine what is true and what is not. The thoughts swirling in my head were not true, even though I believed them.
When my daughter was about 6 months old, we moved. The weeks building up to the move were very difficult for me, plain and simple. My husband was distracted by getting ready for his new position. He was gone the few weeks before the move, one week spent at camp with youth and the next week already at his new job, while I stayed back to pack everything up. Once we moved, life slowed down immensely. We knew no one in our new town. We spent all our time together as a family. The baby started sleeping better (all the praise hands!) and something shifted. One day, I realized I was feeling better. And that day, when there was hope of a better me, was when I realized how much I had been suffering in silence.
Galatians 6:2 calls us to “bear one another’s burdens.” Even when it’s embarrassing. Even when we aren’t even sure what the burden is. Ladies, find someone you trust - someone you know will point you straight to the throne room of God - and lay it on them. I believe bearing one another’s burdens could also be used in seeking counseling. There is no shame in seeking help. Even if you aren’t sure what kind of help you need. Far too many women (including myself) have been silent when facing the pressure, anxiety and fear of postpartum depression.
It takes a village to raise kids, they say. I also believe it takes a village to help the parents transition into life with a new baby (whether that is baby #1 or baby #10). The only way we can find the community that will help us with the gospel in focus, is through our local church. The local church is where it’s at, friends. The local church is what will pick you up when you are down. Or bring you meals when the baby is crying and the toddler is throwing a fit and your husband is working late. Better yet, they may take the toddler for some play time while you get to nap when the baby naps! (Mommas of one baby, enjoy that while you can!) The local church will also celebrate with you. Baby slept through the night? Let’s celebrate with coffee and dessert! Hebrews 10:24-25 calls us to “meet together…encouraging one another.” Online communities are good and well, but they are not to replace face-to-face community. Find a church that places the gospel first and loves the people both in and out of their church well. Immerse yourself in that holy place. Allow yourself to be served and give of yourself by serving.
There is hope for a momma who is struggling postpartum. First, know the Holy Spirit is interceding for you, even if you don’t have the words to pray. God hears you, He sees you. Consider all the feels you have going on, can you determine what is true and what is not? If not, then seek help. Allow someone the pleasure (and it truly is a pleasure) of bearing your burdens, whether that is a trusted friend or a Christian counselor (or better yet, both!). Do not neglect to reach out to the local church. We are called to spur one another one and encourage each other.
Sweet friends, finally, know you are not alone. Do not allow the idea that no one else could understand or has ever felt this way to creep in. Many of us suffered in silence, don’t do that. Reach out for help and let those around you hold you up until you can again stand on your own.
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