“I won’t be home much today,” my husband said, “I have that event tonight.” Our two small children were in the living room, while I was loading the dishwasher with the breakfast dishes. Outwardly, I mumbled “okay” and gave him a goodbye kiss. Inwardly, I was spiraling. How many hours until he was home? Could I make it until then with no reassurance from him? Please don’t leave me here all day with the kids! I’m not strong enough! The panic and anxiety I felt was new, but I had determined it was my new normal. Shortly after we brought our second baby home from the hospital, it had always been close. Whispering to me that I wasn’t cut out to be a mom of two. Sending my thoughts spiraling down paths they had never taken before. Causing me to lay awake at night when I was very exhausted from lack of sleeping well. For some reason, every other woman seemed to ease into having a second baby so gracefully. But me? Failing. Miserably. Anxiety and panic should not have been my new normal.
Jesus Chaser. Living Authentically. Pastor's Wife. Mom of Two. Dessert Eater.