Brianne Henry

“I won’t be home much today,” my husband said, “I have that event tonight.” Our two small children were in the living room, while I was loading the dishwasher with the breakfast dishes. Outwardly, I mumbled “okay” and gave him a goodbye kiss. Inwardly, I was spiraling. How many hours until he was home? Could I make it until then with no reassurance from him? Please don’t leave me here all day with the kids! I’m not strong enough! The panic and anxiety I felt was new, but I had determined it was my new normal. Shortly after we brought our second baby home from the hospital, it had always been close. Whispering to me that I wasn’t cut out to be a mom of two. Sending my thoughts spiraling down paths they had never taken before. Causing me to lay awake at night when I was very exhausted from lack of sleeping well. For some reason, every other woman seemed to ease into having a second baby so gracefully. But me? Failing. Miserably. Anxiety and panic should not have been my new normal. ...

Over the course of our nine years in ministry, Luke told me multiple times he didn’t plan to be a lead pastor. Youth ministry, sports ministry…those are the ministries he thought he was called to serve in. But lead pastoring? Not for him. Yet here I sit, rolling up quickly on our one-year anniversary at Cornerstone Baptist Church with my husband serving as the lead pastor. The transition from student ministry to lead pastoring has been just that, a definite transition. Before getting here, I knew it would be different but the past year has been one for the memory logs, that’s for sure. Here are four things I’ve learned in my first year as a lead pastor’s wife. 1. I must place my relationship with Christ first. I may be a bit different in the traditional view of a pastor’s wife in that I firmly…well, maybe just a teensy bit passionately, believe God calls both the pastor husband and his wife to ministry. I am not the one up on the stage preaching, leading all the meetings and in the ...

I’ve never known a church to make changes that didn’t cause some kind of division. It may have just been a few complaints here or there, or perhaps someone quietly leaving the church. However, more often than not, it’s a whole ordeal. So yes, we are going there. Quickly. Division in the church can be radically reduced (or completely nonexistent) if Her members do two things: 1. Submit to the authority of the Holy Spirit. 2. Submit to the authority of church leadership. Let’s just dig right in. Submit to the authority of the Holy Spirit Henry Blackaby, who wrote the study Experiencing God, taught me that anytime there is division in the church, it’s because someone isn’t following the leading of the Holy Spirit. You see, God cannot contradict Himself . He doesn’t tell Church Member A to vote “no” on a certain ballot issue and tell Church Member B to vote “yes.” He also doesn’t tell the church leadership to shift this direction, while telling a few church members th...

W e’ve covered a ton of ground. I wanted to lay a framework for us to understand that change has been a consistent thing in the church. Maybe it will help us see change as a welcome thing, not something to be afraid of. I wholeheartedly believe a church that isn’t changing is a church that is dying . Know that a church should not be constantly switching programs in and out, but churches should regularly (most likely on a yearly basis) evaluate their programs and practices to determine if they are effective in meeting the vision and mission of the church. Here’s where the change comes in - if the programs and practices are determined ineffective when evaluated, the church then takes necessary steps to adjust or transform to meet the vision and mission. The church doesn’t just say “this is the way we’ve always done it” or “We don't have enough volunteers/money/space/energy/creativity to change things.” The church works together under the common goal of meeting the vision and mission...

W elcome back! Thanks for sticking with me through that history lesson. I hope you can tell where we are going. We, as 21st century believers, are not the first ones to experience radical change in how we do church. And I know, history is hard, but hang with me for one more history lesson. I promise it’s worth it. We can be encouraged from the men and women who have gone before us and paved new ways! First off, a few notable men who changed church as we know it… Martin Luther nailed his 95 Thesis to the door (supposedly) of a local Catholic Church in the year 1517. He basically stood up against all theology and practices currently happening in the church. His stance birthed the Protestant denominations. In the 1730’s a man named John Wesley experienced salvation. John began to preach outdoors, he began to appoint laymen (normal, ordinary guys) to care for congregations, he visited prisoners in jail…all things that were not happening the church then. And thus, the Methodist denomi...

I ’m not a history buff, at all. But as I was learning about change in the church, it took me back to the very beginning. When Jesus stepped on the scene. If history isn't your thing (raised hand here), stick with me, I promise it’s worth it. Everything changed when Jesus entered the picture. Friends, he was a rebel. He went against status quo. He challenged the Pharisees - the leaders of the Jewish church at that time - constantly. They were so intimidated by him and his questions, that they put him on a cross. For over 2000 years church has been in constant change. Today let’s focus on just a couple of areas where Jesus wrecked the church. The Temple. Old Testament books are written about the building of the temple. It was located in Jerusalem. People traveled miles and miles during certain times of the year to visit the temple, to worship, to sacrifice. All things church happened right there in the temple. In Mark 13, Jesus tells the disciples that the temple will become desola...

I s change in a church necessary? In a word, absolutely.  I believe this with every part of me. I am championing this in my church and would love to encourage you to lead the charge of change at your church. But first, let me back up for a minute..these are fresh revelations I’ve recently began to dig into and I’d love for you to work through these with me. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you can agree quickly with me that our world is constantly changing. The way the world is, the things the world does, the latest trends, the thought processes of people in the world are constantly changing. And so my underlying question is - what is the Church doing about this change? Are we keeping up with what’s going on in the world so we best know how to serve our members and appeal to the ones outside the church? Are we aware of the effects the changes in the world has on our church? I stand ready. I am ready to figure out how to make my church a place that, instead of fearing the ...

F or the last two weeks, my kids have been sick (insert all the frustrated and sad emojis here). This was my first experience with two sick kids and Becca's first illness. It was terrible. On Day 10 or so of being at home and not exposing our germs to anyone, Cooper looked at me and said, "Mom, it's been a long time since people came over!" I wasn't sure what he meant so I asked if he was talking about his grandma and grandpa  - they were supposed to come over but couldn't because of said sick kids. He replied, "No I just mean any people. No one comes over to eat dinner with us anymore." Practicing hospitality is one of my favorite things. I love to have people over, gather around the table, eat yummy food and have real conversation. And while we do have guests in our home often, I didn't realize what an impact that made on Cooper. I didn't even realize he would notice if we didn't have anyone over for a couple weeks. My heart filled...

A s women, we want our husband's full attention. We long to be their #1, to know we are their top priority. And I can attest to the shift that occurs when a man takes over a congregation, as it has happened to me quite recently. Our pastor husbands have a deep responsibility, a deep burden, for the people that walk through the church doors (and rightfully, thankfully so!). But sometimes, figuring out where we (and even our kids) fit into all the things he has on his heart is hard. A few weeks ago, I woke up around 1:45am and noticed Luke was still awake watching Netflix. The next morning, he had to wake up super early to head to the hospital for a couple of surgeries of church members. I know why we was still awake at 1:45...he had church on his mind. Whether it is inability to sleep because a sermon illustration pops into mind, heavy burdens laying on them that church members are facing or the stress of a complaint or confrontational conversation weighing on them - our husbands...

O ne thing about walking into a new church is the excitement that you feel from its members. Anytime we've been the new kids on the block at a church (four times over guys), it's been refreshing to feel the excitement ooze out of the folks waiting for you to plunge into ministry. Shortly after that excitement comes the list of needs...we need a pianist, we need a children's ministry volunteer, we need a secretary, we need someone to clean the toilets, we need... And suddenly you feel as though you are expected to do all the things. We feel like we must fill in all the gaps. Sometimes our church expects us to fill in all the gaps. Jesus, the guy we are all chasing after, was the perfect Servant. He embodied the fullest aspects of servanthood. His serving abilities were perfection. If we want to be like Jesus, we will serve. Joyfully. He wasn't "just" a servant and neither are you. We are servant leaders, just as He was. We are all servant leaders in the chur...

W e may not have a moment in our life where we "surrendered to the call of ministry" (allow me to speak in church-ese for a moment here) but friends, we've been called whether we like it or not. You may not have married a pastor. You may have married a businessman-turned-pastor and thought to yourself many times that you didn't sign up for this life. According to Mark 10:8 we are "no longer two, but one flesh." We are one and guess what? God doesn't call one half to ministry and tell the other half they are off the hook. Can I also follow this up by encouraging you that when He calls, He "will equip you with everything good that you may do his will." (Hebrews 13:21). It may not feel like it, but you've been called and equipped for such a time, for such a ministry, as this. We are our husband's supporter, created to love and encourage him. That is our ministry. It is what God has called us to. It is not how many hours you log at the c...

O ur first lie to expose is one that runs deep, painfully deep. When I married a youth pastor at the tender age of 22, a fellow pastor's wife told me one of the biggest lies we buy into. "Your life is over as you know it," she said, "you will never have friends again." I've learned through the years that the women who live by this lie have been so, so hurt by others in the church. They have chosen to build walls instead of fight for the relationship. I, too, have suffered deep hurts from church members I considered a friend. It's a conscious choice and decision that we have to make - to keep pressing on in the fight of building relationships and fight the urge to keep everyone at arm's length in an effort to protect ourselves. I truly believe this lie expands so much further than just to the pastor's wife, but to women in general. Raise your hand if you've ever worn a church mask? (mine is up high) We spend Sunday morning yelling at our ki...