Tough Stuff of 2014

What a good time of year to sit and reflect over the past twelve months. My life is pretty normal – to me. But I really do believe that other people view it as…not quite so normal. Just in the past twelve months I have had three addresses, moved to a different state, sold a house, and bought a house. Luke and I strive to follow where God leads us and that isn’t always easy. Today I would like to share the toughest thing that happened in 2014. I do know that our biggest blessing piggybacks on my toughest situation. Isn’t that how it usually works?

Hard. Tearful. Embarrassing. Mortifying actually. That is how I would sum up 2014’s toughest situation.  This is difficult for me to type and I know will be even more difficult to actually post, but I believe it’s all part of the healing process. Let’s just rip the Band-Aid off here – In April, I was told my contract at the school I was teaching at would not be renewed. Whew, glad that’s over. I’m swallowing my pride and there’s a bitter taste in my mouth, but I did it. I said it, it’s out there! If you are familiar with the education system, you know that non-tenured teachers can be let go for any reason. Actually, they don’t even have to give you a reason – they can just say (as I was told) “it’s an administrative decision.” Luckily, on this fine April day, I knew what fate was headed my way. Before the principal could even fully explain to me that I would be given an opportunity to resign, I had placed (okay, more like slapped) my letter of resignation on his desk and walked with my head held high out of his office. Then I proceeded to melt into tears in the hallway – only to be stopped a million times…”Mrs. Henry, are you ok? Mrs. Henry, what’s wrong?” Chalk it up to personality conflicts, putting my family before my career or simply because the man in charge didn’t like me – whatever it was, I was without a job. I do not know what I did wrong and I doubt I ever will.

I started working at the local grocery store when I was 15. Mike Pryor ran a tight ship around there and I learned many lessons – small talk with customers, how to dust the pantyhose display for a realllllly long time, first in first out, the best way to bag groceries, counting change when the computer messes up (nooo!) – you know, life skills. I went on to work at a video store, as a housekeeper, back to the grocery store (only in the deli this time), I did front desk at a hotel, server, pharmacy technician, teacher, back to server, and finally, back to teaching. In all of the jobs I have held, I have never once been in trouble with my boss (until this last one). I have never been late, I have never been “written up,” or received any verbal discipline at all. I have always respected my bosses (even though some I didn’t care for) and been a hard worker. To have 12 years of good work experience under your belt and then to be told you are being let go is a super slap in the face. I was incredibly embarrassed, even though I couldn’t determine what I had done wrong. Never have I been more ashamed of myself and I didn’t even know what to be ashamed of! Now, I will say that it had been a long two years at this school and problems were always brewing – I just never did figure out how I always managed to be in trouble!

And now, eight months later, in a new house, state and frame of mind, I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks. Because I’m still a little embarrassed. And quite honestly, I’m still really bitter. I still want to know why. Tough is an understatement for what I went through. What my husband had to see me deal with. My pride was brought down quite a few notches and humble is how I spent the rest of the school year.

But grace came. And God blesses those who persevere through the mud and the muck of this world. The day after I was told I wouldn’t be coming back, First Baptist Church of Fairview Heights called Luke. We had met with them once before and he had many phone and email conversations, but this was the big one. The in-person, face-to-face, weekend-long interview process. He came back with a job offer. My teacher salary was supporting the family, as Luke was working part-time at a church and staying home with Cooper. We were headed for some hard times. But God intervened, as He always does. He takes the tough stuff and while, it still is pretty stinky, He uses it for His glory.

So if you are in the middle of the tough stuff - the sticky, stinky, no-fun-at-all stuff…hold on tight. Hold on to Jesus and let Him guide your path. Be humble and seek His will, not yours. You may never know why the yucky stuff had to happen, but I can bet you will always be blessed on the other side.